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Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is Joachim Ciocca and I am a Senior Associate at Capital Funds Limited, which is a United Kingdom-based private wealth management consulting company.
You must have noted that the Covid-19 pandemic has significantly affected the dynamics of global business and has deleteriously affected the oil & gas industry to a very large extent.
As a result of this, our elite clients from the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) States are actively seeking to diversify and diversity of their international business interests through looking for newer horizons to invest their private funds.
Areas of interest for investments include, but are not limited to:
1. Real Estate Development
2. Hospitality and Tourism
3. Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM)
4. Energy
5. Mining
6. Healthcare and Pharmaceutical Industry
7. Other Potentially Viable Industries
8. Etc
The reason we approach you today is an attempt to open up discussions pertaining to a possible collaboration between your organisation and ours to either invest in your company or any other investment opportunity that might be beneficial to both parties. Also you have been identified as an upwardly mobile entity that presents with a lot of promise and we are willing to go into business with you, should you need additional funding in any business venture/investment ideas or foreign partnership.
This will be made possible if we can arrive at terms that will be beneficial to all parties involved.
We are open to any proposal from your highly esteemed organisation.
Thank you very much in anticipation.
Best regards.
Yours truly,
Joachim Ciocca
Senior Associate at Capital Funds Limited
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My Dear Joachim
Thank you for identifying me as a candidate with whom to pry open a discussion about mutually beneficial investments, lifting a lid on a Pandora's Box if you will. Thank you too for trotting out the COVID-19 identifier for someone who might be vulnerable, but which has no relevance at all to investment diversity, a universal and timeless investment wisdom. Your note caught my attention because, of the numerous solicitations of this sort that promise returns only after me and my cash are parted, yours appears to direct cash toward me in the form of investment, even if with the qualifier that some kind of mutual benefit is a necessary condition. How very honest and noble of you.
Sadly, I don't feel comfortable doing business with someone named Joachim because it reminds me of a phoenix, not the actor whose parents took the liberty of using a 'q' in the spelling of his, rather, the ancient Greek mythological bird that regenerates cynically, much like the ilk of your letter.
I don't take exception to your clearly sincere note, rather the gullible e-mail recipient who cannot see through promises of filthy lucre without having to do anything. See, letters of this nature began doing the rounds since the advent of e-mail in the mid-1980s, and its recipients from back then, now approaching their 70s, are facing more of a decline in cognitive reality than they did in their 20s. They're forgetting the 'twice shy' component of the 'once bitten' adage. Back then the movie "Wall Street" was doing the rounds in which the virtue of greed was touted shamelessly. It impacted my generation enormously until the collapse of the sub-prime-mortgage market. The pursuit of mad money has made a comeback since the Trump presidency, but our current hankering after unrequited wealth requires an allegiance to White supremacy masked as Christian morality, indeed, madness rather than the egalitarian nature of stock market avarice.
Rather than bore you to the same tears that toxic weedky, Round Up brought to me as its spray breached my PPE eyeware in my effort to stem the growth of parasitic weeds in my garden, sort of like scams in my investment portfolio, I should give you fair warning that I'm going to relegate to the ether your kind offer that had wormed its insidious way into my account spam inbox. In short, I'm going to treat it like my toenails or my weeds after the Round Up strangles their growth.
Yours in investments gone foul
Neeven
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